Enhancing Children's Nature and Needs Awareness

Why are there so many unruly children at restaurants and churches, given the seemingly unlimited amount of books, blogs, and advice columns about parenting children? Why is it that educators are finding it harder than ever to keep the classroom in order? Why do so many moms say that becoming a parent is the hardest thing they have ever done?

I still considered myself to be 18 when I started parenting, and I didn't really perceive myself as an authoritative figure. My first child's determination to defy me surprised me! I used to worry about my parents' disapproval as a youngster, so I was constantly trying to find out how to avoid problems. Here I was now dealing with a youngster who appeared perfectly content to put up with anything, given the freedom to behave as she liked! I'm sure there are parenting strategies I could pick up.

I read a number of "experts," but regrettably, they only made things more confusing. I read that I needed to learn how to communicate and listen to my daughter in specific ways, that it was okay for her to have low self-esteem, and that if I wasn't cautious, she would develop a variety of neuroses and complexes. I heard that placing my child in "time out" was a good way to discipline her misbehaving and that I should attempt to figure out why she is acting the way she is. Some suggested a spank, while others claimed it would undoubtedly make her aggressive. I read that some children misbehave due to ADD, ADHD, or ODD, that I needed to understand her "learning style," and that I should think about changing her nutrition. How on earth would I ever solve this? What did I overlook?

What I was lacking—and something I didn't even recognize until many years and several kids later—was knowledge of the actual needs and nature of children—not just my own kids, but kids in general.

The Character Of Youth

Every human being is entirely reliant on others around them to provide for their basic necessities from birth. Their main driving force is to loudly demand that these requirements be satisfied. They lack the ability to pay attention to what is going on around them and don't give a damn whether their requirements clash with yours or with your timetable. They are essentially conceited. This doesn't alter on its own; given the freedom to choose, kids will always do what they want, regardless of the implications for other people or whether it's in their best interests. This is not to suggest that kids lack empathy; rather, it just means that, as impressionable young people, they are prone to misbehave, steal something that is not really theirs, lie to hide their tracks, and do stupid things.

This was a commonly acknowledged aspect of human nature in the past; people were not astonished by juvenile conduct nor felt the need to categorize the kid in order to explain it away. As a result, the main goals of childrearing were to dispel children's delusion that they and their wants are the center of the world and to teach them—through practice, education, and correction—how to set aside their own needs and desires in order to serve the interests of others. In the past, parents realized that it was their responsibility as adults to lead their children and grasp the bull by the horns. This was a process that was essentially civilizing and allowed youngsters to become adults rather than merely chronologically advanced adolescents as they grew older. It does children and the wider world great harm to ignore the basic selfishness of human nature and instead attribute to them some sort of innate knowledge or virtue.

Regretfully, contemporary methods of childrearing have placed so much emphasis on providing children with positive reinforcement, enhancing their sense of self-worth, and shielding them from disappointment and setbacks, "poor" grades, or conflict of any kind, that children now frequently grow up believing that their own happiness is the most important thing. Sadly, many kids grow up to be chronologically mature teenagers who still think of themselves as the center of the world. They are unable to truly give themselves for another person in a good relationship because they are too preoccupied with their own needs. Their emotional and social development is frequently stunted, even though they may have acquired some socially acceptable habits, a respectable education, or technological know-how.

The Needs Of Children

The "old school" parents were aware of the nature of children and committed their lives to removing the harmful belief that they are "special." Not that they didn't love them; their kids knew that, but they also recognized what kids needed from adults, and they provided it.

Adult parents are essential to children. They don't require friends, "involved" mothers, or fathers who spend most of their time with their video game-playing mates. They are born with a strong sense of self-worth, so they don't require it to be "affirmed." (NOTE: I am aware that some children have experienced abuse that has destroyed their souls; in such a case, extreme caution and perhaps the help of a licensed psychologist are necessary.) You may read also this: What Part Do Families Play In The Development Of Children?

Children need adults who see immaturity as something that should be freed from children rather than something that adults should model for them; they need adults who are willing to put up with their kids' annoyance and don't care about appearing “cool,” who have the self-control to wake up on time, go to work, and pay their bills, and who show real respect to everyone.

Youngsters require strict but loving guidance on the qualities of a decent human being, including how to put in a lot of effort and do one's best, be honest with oneself and others, act morally even in the face of difficulty, and set aside one's own desires for the welfare of others. They must comprehend that inappropriate behavior always has unfavorable effects and that, in spite of what someone else may say to the contrary, there are certain things that are simply wrong.

A parent will be useless until he resolves these issues in his own mind. He will then thrash around trying to figure out why his child is misbehaving, or how certain things make him "feel," or he will constantly blame other kids, food allergies, ADD, teachers, vaccinations, and other factors for whatever childish behavior their child is displaying. similar to me!

I had to grow up and put aside my childhood belongings. I started to come to terms with the fact that my kids required my guidance since they were prone to stupidity! No more justifications for my children's misbehavior in restaurants or church, their reluctance to go to bed, their meltdowns in stores, or their inability to pay attention and pay attention to the teacher at school. I had to assume the role of lovingly correcting and training my children. Yes, this kind of behavior still happened occasionally; training and correcting kids takes time. But I was a very worthless parent until I realized and accepted that my children were inherently self-centered and that they needed to be freed from it. I could have easily passed for their eighteen-year-old babysitter, wishing for the best but mostly going above and above to ensure their happiness.

Parents, if you haven't already, it's time to act like adults! Get rid of all the parenting books and periodicals, and give up on attempting to understand your child's "reasons" for acting in certain ways. He acts like a child because that's who he is! He needs you to guide him away from his immaturity.