5 Ways to Help Kids Face Their Fears

It’s the tranquility and quiet of children finally sleeping. But mid-way through your exhaled breath of relief, you hear a small voice chirping. “Mom! Dad! I’m scared!” It’s nothing new–over the years, you’ve checked for monsters beneath the bed, velociraptors in the closet, aliens outside the window, and a gigantic, terrifying clown that reportedly visits your child’s room at night. Even your greatest investigative talents have never turned up anything more than a couple of dust bunnies and a misplaced sock.

Common childhood anxieties aren’t restricted to nighttime, of course–many youngsters are scared of anything from swimming pools (what if there’s a shark in the deep end?!?) to thunderstorms (what if the lightning gets me?!?) to spiders (can you blame them?).

Some worries may be more valid than others, but all are very real to your child, whether they’re two or twelve.

If there’s a furious imagined monster troubling your house, don’t worry: your kids don’t have to grow up unnecessarily scared of the dark, or anything else!

1. Validate, Rather Than Brush Off, Your Child’s Feelings

• You may feel too busy, frustrated, or fatigued to talk about zombies, vampires, or any of the frequent adversaries of horrific literature again. (“They’re just made-up creatures, Honey!”)

• But younger children, especially, are still making sense of the world and sifting fact from imagination. That difference is somewhat confusing.

• It’s our responsibility to comfort our youngsters that certain threats are considerably less conceivable than others (or just plain impossible), but we may accompany that assurance with a pang of empathy, too. It’s challenging to be tiny and flooded with hundreds or more images–and auditory warnings–of possible risks each day.

• Kids aren’t dumb for responding to fight and flight while digesting everything; terror first, in-depth reasoning afterward. (Even if you know your kid won’t get food poisoning from that bite of broccoli, he’s not so sure…)

• And, of course, fear may be beneficial. Its function in surviving is quite obvious.

• Rather of ignoring our children’s fears, it helps to respond with understanding and encouragement.

• Lending a sympathetic tone doesn’t imply playing into the tension or the terror. It just means we’re letting our kids know we understand how it feels to be scared–and it’s nothing to be embarrassed of.

2. Prompt Your Kids to Problem-Solve Solutions With Confidence

• After exhibiting empathy, it’s crucial to indicate that we’re certain our kids can conquer their worries.

• Neuroscientists and psychologists believe that while some fear is natural, most of it is also learnt.

• The wonderful news is that this provides us more control over our concerns. And we can all agree that having greater control is an excellent position to be.

• In fact, youngsters who have a little more influence over their lives–whether it’s making a few age-appropriate decisions throughout the day or being given an opportunity to share their opinions–feel heightened sense of belonging and significance. This naturally boosts their sentiments of affirmation and confidence.

• And, as you would imagine, confident youngsters are more inclined to take healthy chances and struggle heroically through their worries.

• Let’s imagine your 6-year-old approaches you–having been exposed to what his old sister was watching–and wants you to soothe him. He relies on you to control his fear and protect him.

• This is natural, of course. We are the parents, and we safeguard our children! But it’s never too soon to give our kids to tools that will help them problem-solve scary circumstances for themselves.

3. Slow-Roll Exposure to Scarier Shows

• We can’t control everything our children are exposed to. Even kid-friendly movies include a token evil person. It’s part of life.

• But we can regulate a lot of the information that comes through their displays. This involves installing smartphone, television, and tablet controls.

• And, for what we can’t monitor, we can teach context and critical thinking.

• Remember–everything our children view on television or the Internet will be thoroughly digested in their information-mining minds.

• While seeing something terrifying, we may put things in perspective. It may be: “those soldiers died for a good cause,” or, “this has been exaggerated to make the story more dramatic” (and for the littlest tykes, “Ursula can’t actually steal Ariel’s voice and turn King Triton into a sea polyp– that’s silly!”).

• If kids are seeing something terrifying based on a true story–let’s say a war movie–we may speak about how the real-life characters displayed avarice, bravery, and everything in between. It’s a perfect time to talk about values and your family’s belief system–both of which give a basic bulwark for tackling concerns.

• The ultimate objective isn’t to keep our children unaware of all real-life ills: it’s to gently expose them to possible damage. This can help children fit the pieces of an often terrible reality into place without undue anxiety and excessively restless nights.

4. Increase Quality-Time Comforts

• Children that feel comfortable and secure–both in physically and in mind–are likely to conquer their concerns with more ease.

• In our online Positive Parenting Solutions course, we suggest that the greatest approach to offer kids this deep-seated comfort is through MIND, (MBST).

• When youngsters are afraid of nighttime and worry over concerns at night, evening MBST might offer them a sensation of being “armed”–protectively–with love. They may fall asleep with less strain and sleep significantly more quietly.

• Whether their trepidation about bedtime arises from separation anxiety, night terrors, or an oh-so-common dread of the dark, introducing MBST into evening routines distracts kids from worse “what if” thinking. Not only does it create a fantastic sense of comfort, but it also increases well-being and confidence.

• All you need for a good MBST session is 10-15 minutes of your undistracted time. Your child gets to pick the action, and then you just need to name it–both before and after the occurrence.

Read Also: Sleep and Early Brain Development

5. Differentiate Between Real and Exaggerated Fears

• Sometimes, youngsters hyperbolize their concerns to grab our attention. Delayed bedtime techniques like, “Can you check my closet for monsters again,” or a plea like, “Can I sleep next to you tonight, just this once?” might be classic instances.

• This is especially probable if youngsters are feeling overlooked or aren’t getting their daily dosage of MIND, connecting.

• You know your child best. You can probably tell if the terror is faked or in earnest. If not, there are some symptoms to look out for.

• If your family has lately encountered trauma, or your kids feel persistently or uncontrollably unhappy, fearful, or nervous, you may want to get treatment. The dread might be temporary (and still in need of treatment) or could signify an underlying anxiety condition or phobia.

• Plenty of counselors and psychologists specialize in addressing fear in children, so if in doubt, don’t hesitate to call out for help.

Final Thoughts

Fear may be a terrible reality, but in our children’s everyday lives, it should never be paralyzing. With these tactics, you may help your kids control their innermost anxieties and develop increasingly self-assured of their inner power.